Most Haun-Tent, Most Haunted Live, Orchard West, Dartford

I found myself in the ‘state-of-the-art’ temporary structure that has become home to live theatrical entertainment in Dartford since the discovery of Reinforced Autoclaved Aerated Concrete or RAAC in the traditional (and historic) Orchard Theatre. Now this is a paranormal blog not an architectural one but on the site of an old hotel then CO-OP is something that I can only describe as a tent. A tent that would hold a large circus, which brings us on nicely to what I had paid to see this fine April evening – Most Haunted Live.

Credit:SJP

Arriving before the house opened I found myself people watching. Members of the Most Haunted faithful, the curious and the dragged-along all queuing at the bar for the usual front of house offerings and usual front of house prices. What did not have a queue (or any noticeable interest) was a merchandise stand with our host for the evenings signed, authorial offerings, which in a way was a little sad.

Bored of people watching I became a little lost in thought as the marquee began to fill with ticket holders. Most Haunted, probably one of the most divisive programmes in paranormal television, could still draw a crowd. Was it that people could see past the allegations of fakery, trickery and staging or was it like slowing down past the scene of an accident to gawk at the mangled remains of metal and bone?

Most Haunted if you are unaware was a UK cable TV programme that aired between 2002 and 2019 and produced over 300 episodes. Described by OfCom (the British communications regulatory body) as show “where techniques are used which means the audience is not in full possession of the facts” its is therefore purely for entertainment purposes, not a legitimate investigation into the paranormal and should not be taken seriously.

The line up for the programme sounds like the set up for a joke a presenter, a historian, a parapsychologist and a medium (until Series 16) walk into a haunted building and… the presenter screams (a lot), the historian provides context to discoveries, the parapsychologist debunks and the medium picks up on the invisible and usually becomes possessed.

For many this was the springboard they needed to form an interest in things that go bump in the night but for others, including one of their own presenters, it was an opportunity to look at the claims under the microscope.

Knowing that the format for tonight’s show was watching clips of Most Haunted with commentary from those present at the time I was certain that they would not want to relive the episode that was shot in Bodmin Jail. The former prison in Cornwall became the final resting place of many a criminal, and a place where a renowned spiritualist medium’s career mounted the gallows.

Derek Acorah, is probably the most famous of Most Haunted’s mediums. His Scouse accent and spirit guide, Sam, becoming synonymous with the format. However his claims had begun to be noticed by cast and crew as overly specific, known to the location, but associated to the wrong artifact. Bodmin was the first location that the show’s parapsychologist Dr Ciaran O’Keefe set his bait. Feeding Acorah with a nasty South African jailer who went by the name of Kreed Kafer, an anagram of Derek Faker, Kafer promptly materialised. The next location, a little further down the road, Prideaux Place Derek found the fictional spirit of renowned highwayman Rik Eddles (Derek Lies). A third strike was found at the other end of the UK, Craigievar Castle, Aberdeen, where fabricated accounts of the spirit of Richard the Lionheart appearing through a wardrobe and a woman accused

of magic were recounted with the enthusiasm of C.S. Lewis even though the castle was built 500 years after Richard had died.

The death knell rang for Derek’s time on the show within the derelict remains of Barnes Convalescent Home, Manchester. The show claimed to be presenting from the site of Cheadles’s Victorian asylum and these were the agonised, tormented spirits that possessed the medium – however no one was tormented nor agonised and the premises had never been used as an asylum.

The revelation of Derek the Faker was a harsh blow to Most Haunted’s reputation, but being the open minded paranormal investigator I am, I noted the warning for haze and flashing lights on the wall and found my seat.

Credit:SJP

A rapturous applause greeted the Scream Queen herself, Yvette Fielding, as she took to the stage and introduced the Most Haunted crew, her husband and producer Karl Beattie, investigator Stuart Torevell and their resident sceptic Glen Hunt.

No sooner had the gents got themselves comfortable on the bar stool-esq tall chairs, the first clip was introduced, stage lights dimmed and the troupe exited stage left whilst the audience watched a large screen of Yvette screaming after something paranormal ‘occurred’, the team traipsing back to their seats and talking about their experience.

This format was repeated several times with different locations, with the ‘discoveries’ building in magnitude from knocks, bangs and whistles to furniture being thrown. It appears that Karl had taken note of previous critiques of his misogynistic language and instead resorted to playground humour, innuendo and questioning the size of Stuart’s man-hood.

What stood out from the cheap laughs was when they spoke about their investigative techniques. They came across very passionate about paranormal investigation. That although they enjoy a laugh and a prank with each other, when the camera rolls it is time to be serious. After one clip Karl and Stuart were explaining their rationale in using some of the more robust and confrontational techniques that later episodes became known for. The challenging, demanding, shouting and swearing types of communication, interspersed with Stuart’s regular resignations and statements that he will never come back (obviously the pay is good?). But for the patter and justification it simply boiled down to being antagonistic gets results.

With the final clip of the first act discussed, the house lights came up for an audience Q&A session. Sitting on my hands as I promised Mrs J I would be good (but being an antagonist gets results?) I heard the generic and non-memorable questions posed to these ‘greats’ of the paranormal world, and the equally mundane answers that the level of questioning required.

Question time up, the audience was reminded that Yvette enjoyed a large white wine and soon the auditorium was a-buzz from the private conversations of the congregation.

Nothing contentious had been raised by the first curtain fall, but as we settled back to the now familiar to-ing and fro-ing of the cast from stage to wings, the screen showed 30 East Drive.

Home of the Black Monk of Pontefract, this domestic haunting falls into the catalogue alongside the Enfield Poltergeist and the Borley Rectory as Britain’s most famous modern hauntings. But the simple council house in East Drive is home to the second most controversial Most Haunted story after Acorah-gate.

Credit:SJP

Arriving on our TV screens on the 18th and 25th October 2015 the two part Halloween Special A Nightmare on East Drive saw the first return to the Live! Format since 2010. The appearance of the title card on the big on-stage screen bought a tense atmosphere to the audience around me.

The footage shown and explanation after concerned the team experiences with marbles being thrown, gravity defying ping-pong balls, and the identical burn-like injuries sustained by Karl and Stuart in an effort to demonstrate the scary-side of paranormal investigations.

Aside from knives not being secured and moving around the house, seemingly unaided it is the footage that captured from a static camera at the bottom of the stairs that raised eyebrows of the sceptical community.

Live feed was directed to Yvette at the time a loud crash and Karl’s shouts were heard. A review of the static camera was then played which sees Karl seemingly pulled backwards up the stairs before being lost from shot. Footage shown after the phenomenon shows red marks around Karl’s neck which ties into his account that he felt he was being pulled upwards and backwards by the neck.

The camera never lies, accordingly to the adage, and what was spotted by one viewer was a white cable seemingly tied around Karl’s waist. The perfect mechanism to perform a stunt as had been witnessed.

The resulting backlash and claims of the format being staged caused Karl and Stuart to produce an explanation video to demonstrate that black, and even purple, cable appears white under the infra-red cameras. Admitting that there was cable tucked into Karl’s beltloop, but this was a trick of the trade used by all camera operators to ensure smooth shot capture and prevented the cable from pulling is snagged or stood on. What this video didn’t explain was why the cable was there in the first place - as Karl did not have a camera in his hands at the time.

The danger explained, Yvette issued a general call for volunteers to take part in the final element of the show; either a spirit board session or a night vision investigation of the toilets. A show of hands and the 8 participants were picked, as much as it would have been nice to have taken part I wasn’t going to wave mine or anyone else’s pants in the air for the privilege.

The new ‘team members’ were led to the stage and provided their name, whether they believed in ghosts and a story or two before divided into 2 groups (2 men and 2 women per group). The first group was assembled with Yvette and Glen around a large spirit board used in the show, the rest were led to the ‘state of the art’ bogs by Karl and Stuart. (Its worth noting in other productions the participants investigate a dressing room – but you have to use what you have got).

Credit:SJP

I can imagine that these investigations hold a little more gravitas in a traditional theatre. Stories of spectres that tread the boards are not uncommon for the buildings that witness the gamut of human emotion in a single evening, but a tent surrounded by shipping containers didn’t quite set the scene.

There are theories that the dead remain on the land that they once knew, but these stonetape replayings are not reported to be intelligent or interactive – which was what these experiments were really looking for.

But what did we discover?

The group on the night vision camera encountered tapping in response to questions, however the limitations of the camera angles and position of the microphone raised questions of the validity of the source. As OfCom previously stated Most Haunted is for entertainment purposes and the entertainment provided by the clear star guest team member was acknowledged by the audience on his return to the stage with cheers and applause.

The spirit board made me feel uncomfortable, not because I have anything against their use (in fact I loves them) but because of one particular sitter. Excited would be an understatement, clearly all her hopes and dreams had become a reality sitting on the stage with her heroes, but the desire for something personal, something meaningful just for her burnt as bright.

Any activity on the board was for her, a letter was highlighted it was her illiterate father; another it was an aunt. The laughter from the audience around me appeared to be at her rather than with her and reminded me of all the poor practice in this community’s history. The charlatan medium with their cold reading (or worse hot reading), the preying on the grieving, the false hope séances that legislation was written to prevent all came to mind – but also how susceptible the human mind can be.

The only thing I noticed, and it was a very small thing was the movement of the on stage camera that provided an over view of the board. It dipped very slightly before returning to its original position. The cable had been taped so did not appear to be a snag or the result of being stepped on, and there would have been no means of correcting a gravity induced movement of the fixing without physically touching the mount itself. So maybe out of all my doubts of the venue, the performers and the final séance there was something residing in this space.

Credit:SJP

So as the Most Haunted team took their bows and the audience went off into the night what were my views of this experience?

It was entertaining and a good evening out. The team were light-hearted and, although smutty, really engaged with the audience. The play on the well-known tropes of the show; the screaming, the running, the fear were quite repetitive but the passion for the paranormal really shone through in all of the team, and it was enjoyable to revisit some of the key moments of the shows history in their own words.

There is a danger in all paranormal productions that without viewers there is no show. Viewers are no longer satisfied with noises, claims of being touched or videos of ‘orbs’. They want to see danger. They want blood. They want to see an investigator dragged up the stairs by the neck. This is where the money is, and this is generally not the reality of paranormal investigations – as no one wants to watch 3 hours of someone standing in the dark with nothing happening.

Love, hate or feel indifference to Most Haunted one thing we can thank Yvette, Karl et al for is adding to the debate. Fact or Fake I have my views and I invite you to share yours.